Alright, Alright, I have fallen victim to internet researching ONE TOO MANY TIMES! I am sure you all have been a victim of it before too. You know... you're sick, so you research your symptoms to find out what you might have and the results range anything from cancer to just a common cold? Or you're not sure what to do in this one situation so you google it. Google has all the answers right? WRONG. So often I find myself on google researching parental advice,tips,etc. and they all say something different! I usually end up torn on what to do and more confused than I was to start with! Once I snap back into reality I physically make myself EXIT the internet browser and remind myself that I need to do what I feel is right as a parent!
Anyway there is a point to this rambling!
I am obsessive compulsive and worry constantly about my parenting ability/skills! As a young mom I surely was NO where near prepared for parenthood but that does not mean Madalynn should suffer for my actions! I make every effort to be the best mom I can be! I think maybe since I am the stereotypical "single teenage mother" that I have to prove society wrong and WILL raise a beautiful, smart, intelligent woman, who will learn from her mother's mistakes and not follow in her footsteps.
Growing up all I remember being taught were my manners and respect. My sister and I never got to have any opinion or speak our minds. Our parents did not practice what they preached. In fact they often did the exact opposite thinking we didn't know what really was going on, when in all reality we heard every fight and every lie that happened in our house even if we were "asleep" (ya right) With Madalynn I want to take on a whole different parenting style than my parents did. She already knows and I will continue to make sure she knows, anything that happens in our house that she doesn't like or feel comfortable with, she is allowed to tell and confide in anyone she feels comfortable with. Growing up I was always told "what goes on in this house stays in this house" and well... what went on in my house was not what you would call typical family events and I felt like I was not able to tell anyone for fear of getting in trouble by my parents. When I was growing up my parents never talked to me about sex or anything close to that topic so I will have the "birds and the bees talk" with Madds. I want her to know no matter what she can come to me and tell me anything and I will not judge her or forsake her, but that I will love her unconditionally and help her in any bind she gets into. I want her to know her grades and college are VERY IMPORTANT and I will do anything in my power to see that she keeps her grades up and succeeds! I know the book says you can't be a parent and friend but I think that is so wrong! I have seen it done countless times and I wish I knew the parents secret but I don't. So I think no matter at what age you "learn as you go".
I hope Madalynn will look back one day and be proud of me and my parenting and know that I did my absolute best!! <3 <3
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